For those multiple mams caught up in the never ending cycle of feeding, trying to catch the elusive thing that is sleep, remembering to eat and being somewhere deep in survival mode I won’t insult you by saying hang in there. There are a few things that I learned along the way or were offered to me as pieces of advice from other twins mams that may make sense to you.
Get into the photos
Who cares what you look like, yes you do look like you were dragged through a hedge backwards but you are surviving on 1.5 hour sleep cycles if you are lucky ,possibly less if you have the joys of reflux to contend with . Believe me your twins will want to know where mammy was looking back in years to come and for you it’s a reminder that you were actually there because baby brain after multiples will make you wonder what exactly happened after you brought them home.
Videos are even better
Buy a big external drive and upload all your videos and photos there and then, and then buy a second one. In years to come there won’t a fight between the twins as to who gets the hard-drives because you will have been so busy all those reminders that this weekend was the weekend you were going to do the Photobook will still be flashing red at you.
Love your freezer
Ask relatives and friends to kindly prepare freezer friendly food for you and your other half because chances are if you do get an opportunity to eat there are only so many Tayto sandwiches and omlettes you can eat. Stockpiling the freezer can work really well but in your sleep deprived state you do need to remember to take things out of the freezer in the first place!
Prepare to be elevated to celebrity status
Anytime you go outside your front door – If you are shy now is the time to practice your smiles whilst trying to stop random strangers from touching your teeney tiny babies.
Yes they were this teeney once 🙂
Practice being a parrot
The same questions will be asked over and over and over. Yes it’s actually quite endearing that so many people love to see multiples but the novelty of answering the same questions does wear a little . That being said when you go out with one baby/toddler and a stranger comments you will feel a compelling urge to ensure they know your single child is actually a twin!
Buy a good hat and sunglasses and or practice that resting b**** face
When you are between feeds and literally have run to the shops/chemist in between and the clock is against you, wearing clothing that discourages eye contact will help you achieve your objective to get in and out of the shops quickly without stopping ten times in a row. And wear runners because some people just won’t take no and will actually pull you back as you try to get away!
Invest in very strong Deodorant
Once those kids start to wiggle at nappy changing time the sweating increases ten fold. One child will invariably escape just as you are finishing twin ones nappy change , by the time you get twin two back to change the other one is making an escape for it . Carrying two car seats, a suitcase aka twin changing bag ,your own bits and whatever else to the car usually requires a shower but since showering is a luxury reserved for when Daddy comes home make sure the Waterwipes are within reach for a quick refresher.
De-friend those who tell you their baby is sleeping since they were 4 weeks old, you have twins/triplets or quads the chances are if one baby is having a bad night everyone will have a bad night. If they don’t wake then don’t ever mention it out loud to anyone ,EVER!
Memorise the Wonder weeks app and accept Sleep may not happen for a very long time
Actually memorising things might be a stretch too far so set up alarms and reminders in your phone to check this daily. The days your kids turn into demented small ones will seem a little easier to handle when you see the grey clouds on the app.
Sleep is a whole other post I have previously written ,See here
What to truly ask for for presents when people offer
You can never fully understand the amount of nappies, wipes and muslin cloths that you will go through in the first few years. Stock buy and then when you think you have enough answer any offers of pressies with these three words “nappies, wipes and muslin cloths”. Oh and buy more teething gel that you would ever think you need to because its when the two little ones are teething that you will truly understand what it is to be a mam to twins.
In the depths of the lonely nights where you are struggling from sleep deprivation, in the moment when you cry because you feel split in two from not being able to give each child what you feel they need or you need, remember that moment doesn’t define you as a mother. Acknowledge the shitty times, don’t let them linger and consume you.
You will pass the hurdle of the first birthday all too quickly and hopefully you will have plenty of photos taken over the last 12 months to remind you of those very early days when their lives more than likely fitted into the palms of your hands.
Multiple parenting is hard but as cliche as is it I will never tire of being lucky enough to be a twin mam.