How naive I was pre kids. I look back at myself and wonder where I got the notion that I would never want two minutes away from my babies. That I would never see or feel the need to have me time, ha! I crave it so much sometimes I dedicated a piece especially on “me time” awhile back here.
Being a Mam is amazing. It is one of the best things that has happened to me but and there is a but, whilst the newborn days of raising twins has its challenges, it did afford me the capability of going to the bathroom on my own. In my sanctuary amongst the loo rolls I would sneak that nectarine I just wanted to eat myself , grab a quick social media catch up or just close my eyes and take a deep breath enjoying the silence momentarily. Newborn twins were happy to sit in their swings and just look at me, they didn’t make it their mission to create fashion from toilet paper. Not every toilet roll innard is a pair of binoculars and as they were safely strapped into their seats/swing they couldn’t crawl in behind the toilet whilst I sat there or try climb in the bath to retrieve a piece of flashing rubber they never play with in the bath.
Toilet training means no more closed doors, no more play pens which can be closed while you get the dinner on keeping little people safe. Nope it means the house is theirs, all theirs. And boy do they know it.
Who knew how fun it was running literally in circles around the house leaving behind trails of Cheerios and mushed banana everywhere? Who knew how fun it would be to have two sets of eyes staring at you as you tried to go to the bathroom. Four limbs pulling out of you mid flow.
And then it happened, I had a Mamtrum.
All I wanted was those few minutes to go to the loo. Their favourite show was on, they had some snacks and as I left the sitting room I had a feeling today was the day I could pee in peace. I don’t need to explain what happened next except to say I behaved like a toddler who hadn’t received the correct fork and plate for their dinner.
And then it hit me, like our kids from time to time throw a tantrum, I Mamtrum. It is usually when defences are down from a bad nights sleep or the rain has prevented us from going outside all day and the indoor activities have been done and dusted by 11am.
Another guilty Mammy tantrum was when I was the only one in the house with a horrendous vomiting bug. Himself was working and I had to rub my own back whilst vomiting ,pity party for one please! but I still had to get through the day minding the twins. There is nothing like feeling sorry for yourself whilst sick and still having to be Mammy, my tears that day would have out teared the twins combined any day.
So how do I limit the Mamtrums, looking at it like one looks at handling toddler tantrums?
I must first and foremost remember I am the adult.
Take a time out for myself, doing something just for me, non kid related.
Pour a nice big glass of red , though not always a good choice!
Above all ,tell myself I am doing a good job and acknowledge not every day will be a bed of roses.
Bribery is always a good tantrum stopper too, hmm what to bribe myself with….