Even typing the words bed rest still makes me shudder and brings me back to a very frightening time in my pregnancy, at a time when you need the most support and a time to keep your mind most occupied you are faced with being in a position of isolation , part medically imposed ,part... Continue Reading →
Parental leave reflections
It's been a Summer of very little time watching, of later mornings, of wearing pyjamas a-past 8am, of the luxury of snuggle times in the mornings. Downtime has been a treat that we have fully overindulged in. We took complete advantage of not having to partake in the morning rush. No dragging ourselves out of... Continue Reading →
First day of school wishes
Day one in the next chapter of their life story has come to an end. Eyes are being rubbed with knuckles and soft yawns escape their lips, as the enormity of the first day of school leaves its mark on my two beautiful children. They someone seemed taller today, as if they grew a foot... Continue Reading →
Leaving your twins behind in NICU.
Today is the 24th of July 2019 and five years now since our twins left the NICU unit and we were finally reunited at home. What a five years it has been, full of love, laughter, tears( what five year olds don’t occasionally butt heads) but most of all a overwhelming feeling of contentment and happiness. I don’t know does the worry ever fully leave after nearly losing them during my pregnancy, being born at thirty five weeks and having a stay in NICU which a few days in took a frightening turn but thankfully all was ok in the end. But today looking back at this day five years ago when my daughter came home and the twins were finally reunited ,it was out first day on our own in our own home and I will never forget the look we both shared as we stared down at these tiny babies. We were completely and utterly in love with them but petrified like all new parents are. We were solely in charge of raising two tiny babies, moulding them ,encouraging them,building them up and having lots of adventures along the way. I wrote earlier in the week about the age of five and it really is a coming of age to the world of “kid” . Those five pounder babies have done a huge amount of growing up over since this picture was taken. The fear that bubbled away inside is a-lot dimmer now, it does knock every once in awhile, it might make things seem a little worse than they are, but I do feel that is a side affect from the worry and stress from the preemie days.
That feeling is easier to dampen down these days, to silence, because looking at our two healthy and happy children playing together side by side reminds me how lucky I am to be their Mam. Life is precious and fragile, every day is a gift not a given and we will make the most of every second we have together xx
I wanted to be with them, needed to be with them, to hold them ,feed them ,tell them I was their Mammy .
But I couldn’t , my husband was with them in NICU , I knew he was minding them for me, I desperately wanted to go to them but I had to rest after a C-section delivery. I tried to get out of my hospital bed several times as soon as I was out of recovery post delivery, to somehow manoeuver myself out of it, but the pain was nothing like I had ever experienced before. Whoever said C-Sections were an easier birth obviously never had one, I’ve written about my feelings about birth here. Soon enough the overwhelming need to see my babies, my teeny little newborn son and daughter and the want deep down to be with them,such already was the loneliness deep within my empty…
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And then they were five
This week my twins turned five. To them they were now a small five ,this is reference to their friends at Montessori preschool who are bigger fives and utterly cute how they explain the complexities in how you become a big five, as far as I can tell it has something to do with your... Continue Reading →
When your children take what you say literally
It was as the remote control slapped off my knee and as I sat there feeling the throb deep in my kneecap, which would no doubt turn my knee a lovely shade of yellow and purple, I not only realised how strong a throw my four-year old has, but it also finally hit me ,pardon... Continue Reading →
I’m saying goodbye to the last links to babyhood but they’ll be my babies forever.
It is hard looking back now over a very short number of years that at the tender age of four and a half years the last delicate link to my babies has been broken. Granted when one of my children corrects me for calling them my baby and insists they are in fact a big... Continue Reading →
Monday’s meals #11 . Baked Orange Sea-bass. From the oven to your table in thirty minutes.
Firstly I know it has been a very long while since I have written a blog post but I have started to dip my fingers back in , primarily over on Instagram , however the dinner I made tonight had us all licking our lips so I had to share it with you. I will... Continue Reading →
Summer downtime and realising the simple things are the best.
Lets go search for puddles to jump in. That was all the twins wanted to do recently and after spending nearly a whole hour the previous day skimming stones, well I cannot skim stones ,that skill belongs to my husband, so it was more like the three of us throwing stones into a river and... Continue Reading →