Day one in the next chapter of their life story has come to an end. Eyes are being rubbed with knuckles and soft yawns escape their lips, as the enormity of the first day of school leaves its mark on my two beautiful children. They someone seemed taller today, as if they grew a foot... Continue Reading →
Today is the 24th of July 2019 and five years now since our twins left the NICU unit and we were finally reunited at home. What a five years it has been, full of love, laughter, tears( what five year olds don’t occasionally butt heads) but most of all a overwhelming feeling of contentment and happiness. I don’t know does the worry ever fully leave after nearly losing them during my pregnancy, being born at thirty five weeks and having a stay in NICU which a few days in took a frightening turn but thankfully all was ok in the end. But today looking back at this day five years ago when my daughter came home and the twins were finally reunited ,it was out first day on our own in our own home and I will never forget the look we both shared as we stared down at these tiny babies. We were completely and utterly in love with them but petrified like all new parents are. We were solely in charge of raising two tiny babies, moulding them ,encouraging them,building them up and having lots of adventures along the way. I wrote earlier in the week about the age of five and it really is a coming of age to the world of “kid” . Those five pounder babies have done a huge amount of growing up over since this picture was taken. The fear that bubbled away inside is a-lot dimmer now, it does knock every once in awhile, it might make things seem a little worse than they are, but I do feel that is a side affect from the worry and stress from the preemie days.
That feeling is easier to dampen down these days, to silence, because looking at our two healthy and happy children playing together side by side reminds me how lucky I am to be their Mam. Life is precious and fragile, every day is a gift not a given and we will make the most of every second we have together xx
I wanted to be with them, needed to be with them, to hold them ,feed them ,tell them I was their Mammy .
But I couldn’t , my husband was with them in NICU , I knew he was minding them for me, I desperately wanted to go to them but I had to rest after a C-section delivery. I tried to get out of my hospital bed several times as soon as I was out of recovery post delivery, to somehow manoeuver myself out of it, but the pain was nothing like I had ever experienced before. Whoever said C-Sections were an easier birth obviously never had one, I’ve written about my feelings about birth here. Soon enough the overwhelming need to see my babies, my teeny little newborn son and daughter and the want deep down to be with them,such already was the loneliness deep within my empty…
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This week my twins turned five. To them they were now a small five ,this is reference to their friends at Montessori preschool who are bigger fives and utterly cute how they explain the complexities in how you become a big five, as far as I can tell it has something to do with your... Continue Reading →
It seems everyone enjoyed the few stories I did on Instagram of our first family sun holiday in Majorca as much as we enjoyed the holiday overall ,so I have collated all the information here in one blog post that you can read my overall thoughts on the hotel ,the area and Majorca. I also... Continue Reading →
It took us to nearly the eve of our twin's fifth birthday but we finally did what we(I) have dreamed of since they were born. In the many discussions on this topic we have never had so many pro and cons , one minute thinking sure you can bring your routine anywhere, to the panic... Continue Reading →
It was as the remote control slapped off my knee and as I sat there feeling the throb deep in my kneecap, which would no doubt turn my knee a lovely shade of yellow and purple, I not only realised how strong a throw my four-year old has, but it also finally hit me ,pardon... Continue Reading →
For my Irish readers I hope you have enjoyed your St.Patrick's day and the bank holiday weekend. We had our bacon ribs with cabbage and spuds and all plates were licked clean. If you have never had a bacon rib then you really are missing out, my mother made these weekly when I was growing... Continue Reading →
If someone could see deep inside you they would see the rawness, They would see that behind the momentary smile, a smile where you forget for a split second , that a part of you has dimmed. They might then truly realise, that even though you don’t want there to be a new you, that... Continue Reading →
It is hard looking back now over a very short number of years that at the tender age of four and a half years the last delicate link to my babies has been broken. Granted when one of my children corrects me for calling them my baby and insists they are in fact a big... Continue Reading →