The 12 rules according to Twins – subject to change hourly

Following on from my post earlier this week where I was reluctant to admit to the other half that YES he was right I shouldn’t have bought new cream curtains for the dining room whilst the twins are still in the feck food everywhere “leap” got me thinking about a few other “What not to do’s when you have twin toddlers”….

The 12 rule according to today are as follows;

Please note this list is quite fluid and additions and deletions happen on an hourly basis!


  1. Do not redecorate until your kids are 18 and gone away to college/work/gap year. If you must repaint wait until the novelty of food throwing years has passed. If you missed my earlier post this week let me tell you 2.5years of age is not the correct age to do home improvements. Sticky hands do not go well with any shade other than bath time.

curtains image



  1.     Do not under any circumstances cut the toast in half, serve it full sliced, cut into triangles/soldiers…. I have been known to try stem a tantrum by magically sticking soggy toast back together on the insistence that the earlier offering was indeed my fault as mammy for not understanding the complexities of a toddlers ability to change their mind after the knife has sliced the bread.



  1. Do not allow the ice-cream to melt. You are indeed Elsa and have the ability to turn anything to ice. That includes the ice-cream puddle forming in their bowls as tears are shed that it’s melting whilst they eat.


  1.   Another very important ice-cream issue is that each twin must have the same flavour ice-cream. You as mammy must raise it with the manufacturer if one scoop has more raspberry ripple swirl than the other scoop.


  1.   Do not give the wrong twin the wrong fork & knife, wrong plate, wrong cup, wrong straw colour. Any deviation from colour will result in plates sliding across the table and ending up on the floor.


  1.  Who knew each twin had their own knee for story time? Be prepared to turn into a toddler climbing frame should you sit the wrong twin on the wrong knee. Cue enough bruises on your legs to justify black tights all year around.


  1. Those ten minutes extra spent staring aimlessly at the TV (ha yeah right !) scoffing lunch and a cup of coffee at nap time will result in twins still being awake at 10pm that night.  Do not deviate from routine and nap lengths , they will still wake at the same time the following morning despite the late bedtime ,leaving you with less precious recharge time.



  1. When one twin says the other did it don’t even waste your time correcting the “other twin”, 95% of the time the culprit / ringleader is staring at you telling you bare faced lies. Sometimes you feel their sole objective is to lose favour for their sibling!


there can be only one twin image

  1. You know those very very rare nights out/date nights? Should you get makeup hair and clothes ready before bedtime and try to hide them under your dressing gown, your kids will sense the change in the air. Despite you thinking you are keeping cool, to them mammy and daddy are in great form, giddy almost, cue extra playtime. They will sense mammy and daddy are about to break free for the night and bedtime goes out the window!



  1. Don’t ever let your kids play hairdresser on you as the customer.  I didn’t lose any hair after pregnancy but one session alone at this “game” has resulted in mammy investing in new hats to hide the damage until it grows back.

hairdress photo





  1. Remember toddlers at the age of 2 onwards have amazing hearing and memory. Do not commit to something unless you are willing to follow through with them. Bribery when tired will always come back to bite you in the ass. Likewise be careful what you think you are whispering because little ears have a habit of repeating what isn’t for outside the house walls.



  1. Whilst you will be tempted to buy two of everything toy wise unfortunately this doesn’t really make sense for the larger items. So I am afraid you just have to keep praying someday sharing becomes fun, although even adults sometimes don’t like that concept so good luck with that one! Having boy girl twins I thought we would escape the “I want what he/she got” dramas.




What to do is simple though, encourage the amazing bond and love they have for each other. They will fight like cats and dogs at times but there really is nothing more heart melting than watching your twins enjoy their special relationship with each other.

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