Does any of this sound familiar to you ? I wrote this the other night as I forced myself to stay awake a few minutes longer to have some “me time ” .
It’s 11.30pm I should have been in bed hours ago but I am enjoying some “me time” . I say enjoying in reality I am here half dead from the flu and lets be fair most nights it’s from tiredness.
My eyes are half open I should be in bed but nope they’re blurry from scrolling on the screen of my phone ,catching up on anything I dare have missed and in the background I have just been alerted to Christmas music.
Christmas music … Looking up I see an advert for the Late late toy show and it’s then that I realise how far behind in Home & Away I am. Home & Away is like an old friend you haven’t seen in awhile , you can easily catch up and slot back into old habits, my not so guilty pleasure.
I waited patiently for the football to finish and then the remote was mine , at that stage the mammy in me told me it was time for bed. I had tidied the kitchen and restored the sitting room to some form of normality before chaos resumed in the morning, put a load of washing on and then sat down with himself for a small while eating the scraps of the kids pancakes .
The sensible inner me was silenced, ignoring the fact that I was tired and really should go to bed. I choose to ignore my commitment made only the prior week that I definitely was going to go to bed twice a week before 10pm. I really needed to put away the phone, turn off the TV and just go the feck to sleep but the inner child in me wanted her me time.
It was only when I heard the Christmas music that I realised how little time I dedicate to my guilty pleasures , how little time there actually is. There used be a time the planner was empty and you would be waiting for the next weeks show to appear, now it has 3 months of Home & Away ,a few MOTD for himself and 90% of kids cartoons and movies .
If you delve further into the kids planner you will see that the shows have all been viewed maybe 50 million times and we can all recite them nearly word for word at this stage, yet poor old Ryan Tubridy is only casting for the Toy show now according to my viewing tonight.
I envy my friends and their ability to binge watch Nextflix series, I left season one of House of cards on the 11th of July 2014 in the Maternity hospital and haven’t had the chance to catch up since. Himself finally starting catching up on Breaking Bad but it may take me until 2020 to achieve that at my current rate!
I don’t think I’m alone in needing that hour or so, that me time at the end of a mad day ,even if it means matchsticks or an extra strong coffee is required ,for me its worth it.
Obviously I adore the kids however working full-time, trying to run a house (but lets skip over that quickly because I’ve long accepted redecoration will not happen until my children lose the ability to mush food into every surface) feed everyone, have some quality time with the kids before the bedtime rush begins , spend time with the other half and try to fit in some exercise, can feel sometimes that you are on a one of those travelators in the airport. Tearing through the day , a momentum of tasks pushing you along at break neck speed , wobbling towards the end as it draws near.
Me time can be spent as productively or unproductively as you want. Every once in awhile it feels pretty good to just sit there and lose yourself in nothing. The brain doesn’t always have to be switched on, quiet is good ,it can give you a chance to recharge, feel like you are snatching some time back for you, uninterrupted time.
Who knew being able to watch or read something in its entirety without interruption would be one of lifes little pleasures post kids. The twins see me pick up a newspaper or magazine and you would swear it was filled with pictures of Blaze and Elsa .My lap becomes a climbing frame as they clamber to read the paper with me , actually anything book related these two obsess over (which I love that they’ve inherited my passion for reading ) but reading car sales adverts in the paper isn’t exactly thrilling stuff or dissecting the weekly Aldi magazine eventually wears thin.
Regret is never far behind though and it’s usually the following morning when you say out loud to himself ( so as to have a witness otherwise it won’t happen) that tonight will be the night you go to bed early .
Let’s see how that goes for the rest of the week .