You know you are a seasoned Mother when

  • Your shoe pile grows in terms of flats and runners and not heels.

    Hoodies and rain coats are fast outnumbering your other jackets, short leather coats aren’t known for their waterproofness. 

    The first thing you do after a holiday is to get the washing on and then sit down for a glass of wine. Not the other way around, actually let’s face it, the only thing done pre kids was drink wine, the bags were usually unpacked a week later.

    You also take the precooked frozen dinner out for the next days meal to avoid having to do a supermarket trip the morning after you return. 

    The really clever among us will have done a Tesco shop with a delivery date for the morning after ensuring milk can be had with the cereal of choice before school.

    You cry happy tears when you find the perfect runaround jeans- well crying over the perfect jeans always happens but you know what I mean!

    As a twin mother you know where all the twin trollies are county by county, supermarket by supermarket and will change loyalty to a brand based on their volume of twin trollies.

    That spare bag himself muttered about being in the boot forever, cue your smug face when the toilet is not reached on time and spare clothes are required for the kids

    You will suck snot from your child’s nose to stop a nasal drip cough, so you can get some well needed sleep at night. Nasal aspirators are your best friend!

    Most items of your clothing has at one stage had snot wiped on it,on a normal day that can also include sticky fingers, grubby mouths and potentially vomit, you will not change that top after a few months of being a parent, why bother getting another nice top dirty.

    You have been known to order something for yourself that your kids don’t like and you can just about tolerate, purely so they won’t eat all your lunch.

    You are not ashamed that you have been known to dance a jig when your child makes a poo, in fact you are pretty proud you no longer empty retch when in the loo with your kids.

    All your kids have to do is climb up on your lap and give you that snuggle and you can see that they are indeed the masters of manipulation , you may secretly whisper to them to never lose that confidence and braziness when they grow up:)

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